Book Suggestions!

Okay, so I’m a sucker for a good Christian romance. I’d say it’s probably because I’m a romantic at heart and can’t wait until I fall in love someday. But until that day comes, I love to read good Christian romance stories!

I can spend hours upon hours reading books! I don’t have as much time to read as I used to, but when I get the chance, I have a whole bookshelf full of books that I’ve bought and haven’t gotten a chance to read yet!

I know that I love to hear what others think of books – and some of other people’s favorite authors/books, so I’m going to share some of mine with you!

Mary Connealy

I discovered Mary Connealy a few years ago when my Mom got the first book in the Kincaid Brides Series – Out of Control – to review. I don’t know what it was about the cover of that book that drew me in, but I started to read it and LOVED it. Soon after, I bought most of the books that Mary Connealy has published. I now have every book that she has ever published, and have never been disappointed with her books.
Most of them are set in the late 1800s and have cowboys, bad guys and a hero. They are a great read and keep you going from the first page until the very last!

Hollywood Nobody Series by Lisa Samson

I absolutely LOVE this book series. The main character is Scotty Dawn, a teenage girl who is SO easy to get along with that reading her book is so easy! She’s funny, down to earth and always says what she means. I can always relate to her! There are four books in this series, but I suggest getting all 4 at once if you’re going to read them. When I first read them, I didn’t read them all in order and it got a bit confusing.

But I believe that since then, I’ve read them about 5 times. No matter how much I read them, I can’t get enough! So fun!

Katie Parker Series by Jenny B. Jones

Okay, so Jenny B. Jones is another one of those amazing authors that writes so well that all her books are great! She’s quirky, funny and just plain amazing! Again, I can only hope to be half the writer that she is! (She hasn’t published a book in over a year and I can’t wait to see what she has up her sleeve next. Kind-of getting a bit antsy, truthfully!)

But anyways, the Katie Parker Series are another just plain fun series. They are of course, about Katie Parker. She’s a teenage girl who is in the foster care system and has been with the same family for a few years and loves it.

She’s also hilarious and you never know what’s going to come out of her mouth! If you like chick-lit, you’d love these books!

Those are my favorites, girls, but here’s a list of other great authors that you should check out as well:

Melody Carlson

Karen Kingsbury

Beverly Lewis

~Ashley

Are YOU in an Abusive Relationship? Quiz!

Hey girls! We're going to be starting a series on abusive relationships. This will be our first series here on To Die For, and we're very excited about it! :) This is the first post in the series. This post is going to be a little different from the rest because this post is going to be a quiz to help you determine if you're in an abusive relationship. You may know what an abusive relationship is, have no clue, or only know a little about them. It's fine either way, we're just hoping that this quiz can help point you in the right direction and help you get an idea if you may be having some issues with an abusive relationship or not. This series will include detailed descriptions of what abuse is, the different kinds of abusive relationships, how to get out of an abusive relationship, how to help a friend out of an abusive relationship, how to heal from a past abusive relationship, and how to prevent getting into an abusive relationship in the future.

Directions: Don't worry, this isn't going to be something complicated. You guys are like, a quiz? Really? Aren't we in summer? Yep, I'm sure most of you are. But don't worry, it won't be that bad. In fact, you can answer all of these questions with a simple Yes or No. Easy, right? I thought so.


1.) Does he continually blame everyone else or you for his problems? Have you heard him say things like, "You're so calm and together, and she was so crazy and paranoid."? If so, he is blaming someone else for his problems. If he's saying things like, "If you wouldn't have given me such an attitude, I wouldn't have had to.... (fill in the blank here)", he is blaming you for his problems. This is a bad sign upfront because it's showing that he's not going to take the blame for any of his own actions and can later try to make you believe that everything he did was your fault.

2.) Has he been known for calling you reguraly to find out where you are, what you're doing, or who you're with? If so, this is a sign of him being very controlling, which usually goes hand in hand with abusive relationships. Most of the time, in abusive relationships, the abuser can be very controlling or demanding. They can ask lots of questions and always seem to want to know what you're doing. What may be disguised under him being all sweet and caring about you, is really that he just always wants to know what you're doing 100% of the time. Your guy is supposed to genuinly care about you and your interests, but they are not supposed to be in your buisness 100% of the time in such a demanding way.

3.) Have you noticed a drop in friends or the people close to you since you started dating/spending more time with him? If so, this is because he is trying to issolate you away from your friends and family. He desires to have control and he feels more in control when you are alone. Alone means you're volunerable. With these types of guys, they desire to have control and don't like having anything getting in the way of that. Most of the time, you can experience a drop in friends without even really noticing it happened. It's not going to be black and white that it's your guy's fault, but always remember that if everyone else around you doesn't think he's good for you, chances are he isn't.

4.) Is he continually criticizing you on your looks or telling you ways you can "improve" yourself? If so, he's knocking your self esteem. The less highly you think about yourself, the more control he has over you. These guys can criticize you quite openly, or sometimes in a sarcastic mannar, and then when you become offended over it, tel you that you are just "over reacting" and need to "lighten up" Well girls, if he is joking around about your appearance at all, he's not trying to help you in any way. Don't get caught up in the lie that he wants you to really "improve".

5.) Does he try to rush you into a relationship too quickly, or try to convince you to do things you may not be comfortable with? This one goes back to his desire for control again. It may come off as him being really pushy and wanting to date you right NOW and not wanting to wait, or it could be something deeper as him trying to push you into something you're not ready for, such as kissing or drinking.

6.) Can you tell him anything without having him blow up, blame you, or midunderstand your meaning? Relationships are supposed to be built on trust and understanding. If he's continually blowing up on you and causing you to feel like you have to "walk on eggshells" in order to not make him angry, he's not exacting being understanding. You should be able to feel comfortable talking to your partner, and shouldn't feel so stressed to talk with him.

7.) Does he always seem to be overly interested in you and ask you lots of questions to "get to know you"? Sorry girls, but in this case, he's not just interested in getting to know you, though that's what he wants you to think. He's actually using all the information you're giving him to understand you better and how you work, only to use this information against you later. That's such a huge sign of an abusive relationship. Are they taking information and using it against you? That's never a good sign.

8.) Does he threaten to hurt himself or someone else if you leave? This one is pretty straightforward, but if so, that is never a good sign. They are trying to control your emotions here by making you feel bad and worried. You wouldn't want them to hurt themselves if you left, so you use that as an excuse to stay.

9.) Do they try to convince you that you can't persue your dreams? What may be disguised as a helpful suggestion saying they think you can't do something, is really a direct insult to you. Chances are, they know that you are capable of persuing your dreams, but the more you branch out away from them and their grasp, the less control they keep.

10.) Do you feel like you both are always fighting or fear "punishment" of any sort if you make him upset? You should never fear your partner, period. But if you and your partner are always getting into fights, the relationship isn't a healthy one already. Fearing punishment is worse because then you've associated that doing different things can create negitive responses in him such as not talking to you for a defined amount of time, physically punishing you, or verbally yelling at you until you give in. Usually giving in would be something like saying you're sorry, admitting he's right, or agreeing on something that gives him more control.

11.) Does he ever hit you, create bruises by pinching you or forcefully grabbing you, push or shove you, or tell his friends to "playfully" hit you? This one might be a little more ovbious, but if he's forcefully laying a hand on you in any way, you would answer this question with a yes. He shouldn't be forceful with you physically under any condition and should be respectful of your space and body.

12.) Has he ever said, "You would if you loved me"? If he's ever trying to get you to do something by telling you that you would do something if you loved him, the relationship is not headed in the right direction at all. Remember that the right guy is going to be respectful of you, your beliefs, and your dreams.

13.) Did he say, "I love you" right away? What might come off as sweet, can also come off a little creepy. He may show signs of wanting to jump right into the relationship quickly, and one of the ways he does this is by telling you he loves you dearly.

Note: Not all of these things are going to necessarily be displayed right away in a relationship. And though I tried to cover lots of different things that could be going on in an abusive relationship, there are many more signs that I haven't covered. I'd encourage you to find more information out there on symptoms of abusive relationships to help you identify if you are indeed in one.

If you answered Yes to any of the questions above, you're in an abusive relationship and you need to get out. You don't deserve to have the guy that you're currently with. Remember that we're all children of God and he cares about us dearly. He doesn't desire to watch his children get hurt or put down in any way. I'd encourage you to stay tuned for our next posts in this series where we'll be covering ways to get out of the abusive relationship, and ways to heal from the past. Remember that we're also here for you! If you need someone to talk to about this, or anything, feel free to send us an email form our "Contact Us" page and we will get back to you shortly. You don't have to go through this alone, we're here for you.

If you answered No to all of the above questions, then there is a good chance you're not in an abusive relationship. Like I said, I don't think I covered every possible sign of an abusive relationship out there and if you wanted to clarify, you can do some more reaserch, but I tried to cover some of the broad topics and major warning signs. We also welcome you to continue to read the series even if you're not in an abusive relationship now, because it could help you stay out of one for the future, or help a friend out of one someday as well. If you have a friend who is in an abusive relationship and needs help or prayer, feel free to contact us using our "Contact Us" page at the top of the blog and we would love to hear from you.

~Angelica

Idols Aren't Just Statues

Honesty time here, girls. In September of 2007, I was introduced to a teen boy band. Any guesses who? If you guessed The Jonas Brothers, you are correct!

I was introduced to the Jonas Brothers. And I LOVED them. I loved their faces, their singing voice, the fact that they were professing Christians. I just loved everything about these 3 guys from small-town, New Jersey. I wanted to meet them, wanted to marry one of them (preferably Nick!).

Boys bands are one of those things that come and go. The Jonas Brothers weren't what they were 3-5 years ago. They are no longer really singing together and the oldest, Kevin, has gotten married. Nick and Joe both went on to make their solo albums and do their own thing.

But when they were really famous, I really, really, capital REALLY liked them. I'll take it so far as to call it an obsession. I had hundreds of their pictures on my computer taking up space, I watched their YouTube videos over and over, and I even went to see them in concert. (Not gonna lie, even to this day I think that's pretty cool).

The thing that I didn't realize then, though, was that an obsession with a boy-band, an actor, ANY person who isn't Christ, is wrong. It's idolatry. We're putting someone up on a pedestal that shouldn't be on one! We're only going to be let down because these people are NOT perfect.

I have been let down by the Jonas Brothers many a time. When they could've professed their faith, or explained better why they wore purity rings, they backed off and shirked around the questioning. I'm not going to judge them and say that they're not Christians because I don't know what's in their hearts. But I do know that I have been let down by them many, many times.

"Dear children, keep yourselves from idols." 1 John 5:21

Putting our "faith" in people - or wasting our time on them - is only taking time away from the one thing that we should be truly focusing our time on - God. Looking up to people for advice, though, isn't always a bad thing! Don't get me wrong. But if we do it all the time - focus our time and energy on people of this world, we're not getting fed by Christ.

Since my obsession with the Jonas Brothers, I have grown a lot in my life. Not only have I learned my lesson on obsessing over people, but I've also grown a lot closer to God. My time spent loving the Jonas Brothers was time away from spending with God.

I didn't have time for God because I only had time to look up Jonas Brothers pictures, watch their videos, listen to their music.

I didn't have time to read the Bible because I was reading articles about these guys.

I didn't want to spend time with God, because I wanted to spend time with them.

"Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God's love for them." Jonah 2:8

Not going to even deny it - it was probably one of the dumbest times in my life. It was the time when I had more times for a boy band than God. I realize now that I was so far away from God at that point that I didn't even pray or read my Bible or listen to Christian contemporary music.

I just didn't have the time.

We NEED to make time for God. So stop adding those pictures to your computer. Stop watching those videos. Stop listening to that music for a while. Take time to pray, open your heart to God and spend time with Him.

I know that you'll feel less hungry for love and faith than you have before. God is the only thing we need and we NEED to spend time with Him.

As Christians, we need to learn that obsessing over anything but the Lord and his plan for our lives, is dumb. Plus, we're just going to continue to be let down by the people we are putting up on a pedestal. We will only be disappointed by them.

I don't know - maybe it's a lesson that all teenagers have to learn - to hold someone on a pedestal and slowly watch them fall. Maybe it's God's way of showing us that they're human and are going to make mistakes.

My advice to you is: if you're a Christian, prove it. Don't just say it because quite honestly, talk is cheap. Show people through your actions that you're a Christian. It's the only way for people who don't know you to find this out.

Like Blimey Cow would say, "If I spend a day with you and don't know that you're a Christian, you're doing it wrong."

So I urge you, spend time with Jesus. Get to know HIM a little better and get to know these celebrities a little less. God will never let you down. Everyone else will.






~Ashley

Topic Suggestions? Prayer Requests? Feedback? We'd LOVE to hear from you! Please send us an email at heistodiefor@gmail.com and we'll get back to you shortly!

Waiting on God

As humans, we all know that having to wait for things is hard. It really is. Depending on what we're trying to wait on and be patient for, waiting for someting can be a real pain sometimes. I've so been there and I bet that many of you guys have too. We hate having to wait for many different things but what about waiting on God? What happens when we ask God something and we have to wait for an answer? What should we do while we are waiting for that college acceptance letter to come in? Are we just supposed to sit back and be upset every day the letter doesn't come? Are we supposed to pray? Well let's explore what we are supposed to be doing while we wait on God.

Romans 12:12 says, "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

While you are waiting on Him, God wants to use this time to grow you in your relationship through Him. He doesn't want us to just sit back over here waiting on something and not involving him in the process at all! Because God is a loving God, he longs to see the best in us. It all comes back to the point that God all has a plan and purpose for us(Jeremiah 29:11), and he wants to be involved in our daily lives. While we wait on Him for something, we are being given a chance to give something over to Him that we know we can't do on our own. Let me use an example.

When it comes time to send those college applications off, that is usually a very stressful time of high school. If you're going to college and you applied, usually you have more than one college that means a bit more to you that you really want to go to. This college has a higher level of importance to you than the others, though I'm sure you'd want to be accepted either way. But wouldn't you be excited for all the letters that came in? Yes, more than likely. But say you had gotten all of your letters in but the letter from the college you really wanted, it would be a lot harder to wait for that one, wouldn't it? Of course. That's just the way we work, as humans. We can become very impatient on God.

But actually, in this case above, what would you do while you were waiting on God to give you that letter from the college? Romans 12:12 above says that we should rejoyce in hope. This means that we should have hope for that letter that's coming. We should be trusting of God that he's going to get us that letter exactly when we need it, at the perfect time. It says that we should be patient with tribulation. In this case, the tribulation would just be waiting for the letter. But hey, that can get stressful right? We're supposed to have patience and just wait on the letter's arival. God knows what he's doing. He has the plan for our lives so mapped out, he knows the exact moment that letter's going to arrive. And in your plan, it's the perfect timing. Remember that. It also says to be constant in prayer. This isn't like, some joke. Or some small section of the Bible that we're just supposed to go, "Ohh yeah. I remember that somewhere..." and go on with our daily lives with. It says to be constant in prayer. This isn't because God doesn't want us to do anything else with our lives. Not at all. But we can pray and talk to him, while we are doing the other things in our life as well. He just wants us to continually keep Him in the loop, so to speak. It's so much easier to wait for something while you have God there to wait with you. He's always there with you, but when you acknowledge He's there, everything becomes easier.

So. Just to recap a bit, here are the three steps we should be taking when we are waiting on God, for anything:

1) Rejoice in Hope

2) Be Patient in Tribulation

3) Be Constant in Prayer

I'll be honest girls, this isn't really an easy thing to do. When we're waiting for things, we can often become realy impatient and want our answers now. But when we remember to do these things, waiting on God becomes so much easier. Let's go into this next week here remembering this, and trying to impliment it into our daily lives. I, for one, will be implimenting this into my own life as well. :)

If any of you girls need any prayer, want to talk, have a topic suggestion, comments about any of our posts, or just want to get ahold of us for any reason at all, you can contact us at heistodiefor@gmail.com and we will get back to you shortly! Thank you guys, we LOVE hearing from you!

~Angelica

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be . . .

When I was little, I remember always dreaming of what I wanted to be when I was this so-called "grown up". I believe that first and foremost I wanted to be a waitress. This girl had big dreams when she was 5. Then I remember it turned into being an author. (That particular thing is still on my list of things to do, but it's not in the forefront of my mind anymore).

I finished my high school credits in February of this year. The feeling was amazing. I was FINALLY done with school. I could finally be done with school and never have to do it again if I didn't want to! I never had to open another text book or take another quiz or test.

Wow, living the dream, right? I'd have thought so. But even though it feels that way, my truthfulness will tell you that this was a step in my life that scared the bajeepers out of me.

I was then done with school. I then had to figure out if 1.) I wanted to go to college, or 2.) I wanted to continue on my career path.

My choice was career. I was already working for a small business and working as a part-time receptionist, and my cousin offered me the job to nanny her kids three days a week. I love to work and didn't want to go to college, so this is an exciting step that I will be taking.

Growing up isn't easy. And we wanted to grow up quickly? Why? Because it's part of our nature. We want to be an adult, we want to be treated like an adult, we want to make money, we want to move out and go to college, etc. 

In the last few months, I have had a falling out with a friend. She and I are no longer the best friends that we had been for years. We were growing up to be very different people than we were a few years ago. It seems like everything should stay the same - that we should be able to mend what went on and move on. And sometimes that's possible.

But I've realized that another part of growing up is growing apart from the people that we were close to. Friendships that were once great go from talking every day to talking every week, and then never talking. People we looked up to start to let us down.

I know that I've changed in the last few years. I have matured a lot, I have finished high school, have stepped into the work force and started making money and I have grown a lot closer to God. I know that I am never going to be the Ashley that I was a few years ago.

That Ashley always had time to do anything she wanted - she was bored, too, wishing she had things to do. The new Ashley is busy and barely has time for anything other than work! But that's okay. God knows what he's doing in my life.

And girls, God knows what he's doing in your life, as well! He knows exactly what you're going to do when you grow up, he knows exactly who your friends are going to be. He loves you and wants you to trust him in your life!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11






"There is hope for me yet
Because God won't forget
All the plans he's made for me
I have to wait & see
He's not finished with me yet."


Don't get discouraged if your life isn't exactly how you dreamed it up to be - and you're not just who you want to be or what you want to be. God has a plan for who you're supposed to be when you grow up! Let him be the lead of your life and it'll happen in His timing!

~Ashley

Topic Suggestions? Prayer Requests? Feedback? We'd LOVE to hear from you! Please send us an email at heistodiefor@gmail.com and we'll get back to you shortly!

Life is Ever Changing

Changes. 

Life is full of them, isn't it? We can't go through anything without there being some change in our lives. It's how God created things though. Things are supposed to change. Sometimes the changes can be seen as good through our eyes, such as getting a new job, going off to college, or having a friend or family member get employed. But sometimes we percieve change as a negitive thing, don't we? Someone in our family looses a job and we look at the negative- we don't have as much income as we had before. We didn't get accepted in that job that we wanted so we must not be good enough. That relationship didn't work out so we must not be lovable. Negative, Negative, Negative. 

To be honest, I do the exact same thing. Something changes in my life and I tend to panic. Instead of trusting that God has everything under control, I tend to just freak out and not trust Him. I question Him, balk at Him, and sometimes even get angry at Him. Why? Because I'm scared. A lot of time going through changes in our life can be a scary thing. But why is it so scary? If we're created and loved by a God who not only sees everything we're going through, but also loves us unconditionally and has our plan already created and mapped out, can someone tell me why we're so fearful? 

Humans are not created to live in fear. The Bible says so here. 

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."  2 Timothy 1:7

Looking back up at the examples I used earlier, what would be a way to look at those same situatons with a trusting heart? Someone in our family looses a job? That job is no longer in God's plan for that family member and God is going to give that person something better. We didn't get accepted into the job we wanted? That job wasn't the job that God has in mind for us, he has something better in mind .That relationship didn't work out? God is going to lead us to a better, healthier relationship. It wasn't the right time. 

You see, God knows everything that goes on in our lives. You and me both know this, but take a second and think about it. Everything. The big things, the small things, everything he knows. But he also knows the things that are going to happen in the future for us. He knows where our lives are going to take us, so why should we be afraid of life or the things in life? After all, he's in control. Honestly, this is one of the hardest concepts for me to understand and accept in my Christian walk. It's hard and I'm going to be honest- sometimes It is a lot easier to be fearful then to give things over to God and know he's going to take care of us. 

But when we really think about it, yes all these changes can be scary sometimes. God didn't promise us that everything would be peachy when we accepted Him as our Savior, did he? No, but he promised us he'd take care of us and he is. He is taking care of us and He does each and every day. 

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" Matthew 6:25

I have always found this BIble verse to be a really powerful one. If we're not even supposed to worry about what we're going to eat, drink or wear, where do we have room to worry about the other little things in life? I would say eating and drinking are pretty big things in life. But if we're not supposed to be concerned about those, maybe we should stop and look at the things we're worried about. The changes in our life, big or small. God is in control of these changes, therefore they shouldn't be scary ones. :) And it's not an easy process. Just giving this all over to God and accepting that it's all part of the plan. It takes time and many, many lessons. But eventually we start getting better at it. :) We have to start somewhere. 

To go ahead and end this post, I'm going to share a story of something I'm currently going through in my life right now. The idea for this post actually came about because I have a terrible habit of worring over the changes that happen in my life. I honestly hate changes, big or small. But God is in the process of teaching me to trust Him with the changes in my life. One of the changes that recently happened in my life was that I recently got a job! :) Something that lots of people would look around them and decide was a very positive change. And you're right. It has been a very positive change in my life and it's a change I'm grateful for. But even something positive has been tough and has not come without it's challenges. I have had my moments where I get scared and I get mad at myself for feeling like I'm not catching on as fast as I would like. But that's the thing, why should I worry about it? Every day brings it's new challenges but with each and every day, we should be trusting God with the little things. And trust me when I tell you, I don't have this all down myself. Not even close. But it's something we can all work together on. When we notice that we're starting to be fearful of a new change in our life, we should take some time to talk to God about it and open our Bibles. We know we're already taken care of but when we go to God with our problems, we won't feel the need to worry about it as much because we are more trusting that He has everything in control. :)

So girls, I just want to encourage you that you're not alone in whatever it is that you may be facing. We're all in this together and we're here for you if you need support, encouragment or prayer. If you want to contact us, please email us at heistodiefor@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you!

~ Angelica